boo hoo

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

If I was 8...and a boy...and if it was raining, this is exactly how I would look right now.

Mr. Christensen had to get on a plane today and head back LA. And Ive been fighting some serious emptiness, sadness, and have been holding back tears all day.

You see, theres a catch 22 when living away from your loved one. After 10 weeks straight of not seeing them and doing everything yourself and on your own, you almost get used to solitude. You get used to not checking in and leaving when you want to, and not worrying about your significant others schedule....cause no matter what, it doesnt change your day. Loneliness and single mother-ness becomes normal even though its not normal and youre in a healthy committed marriage.

So you get used to this...hating it all the while, but regardless, its your life and you cope with it. And then, he comes home for 6 days and its like the best vacation youve ever been on. Seriously. Youre just watching nextflix on the dirty old couch in the basement and its better than being on any beach in Hawaii. This, of course, makes you realize how nothing in the world is better than having the people you love more than anything else surrounding makes you realize what you have, and know how awful life is like without them.

So I guess its a good thing....? Right?

The hardest part is knowing what its like without them and having to say goodbye. I'm directly back at square one and have to fight all over again to toughen up, get myself out of bed, and just keep moving forward. But, its not like before when we were going into this blind. Were fully aware of the heartache and the frustration that comes with not being able to experience little things that make day to day life enjoyable together.

This is all happening for a reason, and our family is becoming stronger for it, Im sure. But, dear husband, I'm over it. Move home.

husband in town= photo fun time

Monday, June 27, 2011


old journal reading.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

So I was reading my great grandma Lil's journal in church today, and it made me want to go home and go through my old ones. It also made me want to document things better I've committed to starting a "life journal" so that maybe one day when I'm long gone, one of my great grandchildren can thumb through it while bored at church, and think how cool their old great grandma Weslie was.

And I guess this picture above has nothing to do with this blog post. I just really like it. Welllll, nevermind.. I guess it does have a lot to do with this type of post. Cause one of the entries I found today was Bronsons and mine very first kiss......which of course led to getting family pictures 6 years later down the road.

sooo it goes like this......word for word.
(wait.....pause! some backstory here......I had moved back to Utah and had been living here for less than 4 months when I met Brons. It was August 2005. We both were in other relationships so we were just friends for 5ish months. For some reason I thought I didnt like i thought that he thought he was way too cool for school. I later found out he thought the same exact thing about me, because I would constantly blow him off whenever he texted.....then one day he came to my house with a bunch of other people while I was babysitting my sister Haidyn who was only 2 at the time.....and in front of all our wayyyy cool non-baby-loving friends, Bronsons DIED over Haidyn. He was snuggling her and loving her and totally focused on just her in the most not cool way ever. But to me, it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen any 17 year old boy do. It was over from there on out. You can say our other "significant others" at the time werent so significant from that day on.)

March 2006
"So, tonight Bronson kissed me. What!? It was so unexpected. We were at Bonny's house (the Earls Moms house) like always and we were trying to do backflips in the backyard. I havent done one in forever and I was scared, so Todd and Bronson were spotting me. I did a few and then my hair was all crazy so I walked from their back porch to inside their Family room in the front of their house to put my hair back up. I was looking in the mirror and my hands were both holding my ponytail cause I was in "mid tie" (hahaha this made me laugh reading it over again) when Bronson came around the corner without saying anything and just grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me really fast..but not too fast. haha! like a peck....but not a dumb one. it was like a realllly good one.
And then he kinda just looked at me and he smiled and I was smiling too, but we both didnt say anything. I felt SO dumb cause my freaking hands never left from holding my stupid ponytail! so were just kinda looking at each other and I finish throwing my hair up really fast, then he just walks as he's going around the corner he put his hand around his back, like for me to I held his hand until we got back to the backyard where everyone was. Neither of us told anyone...but I know they could all tell something was up cause Alicia kept looking over at me and I asked Bronson if he told anyone and he said no, and so we agreed to keep it our little secret.
I should probably feel bad. But I dont. He doesnt sure of it. I think I like him more than I should. For sure I do. And plus, He's always telling me to break up with (insert x boyfriends name here) and texts me a lot... so I know he likes me too. I dont know though. He just seems different in a way I really like. We'll see."

And that, my friends, is the beginning of our story. It was so funny reading it again after 5 years that I thought I wanted to share it with the world. Well, the world wide web at least.

And I thought I should share at least one pic of the little chug on the way finally too. This was her when I was about 17 shes much bigger now at 24 weeks. Which means so am I. I already think she's a doll though, and I think her name might be Lola. Lola Plum Christensen. Maybe. Just maybe though.

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