Fire to my brain....and then to my kitchen.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

...I'm always thinking.

This day I was standing in my kitchen thinking.

But this was a deeper, more meditative sort of thinking-- about my blog, of all things, and how I want to improve it. 

My thoughts went from meditative to impatient rather quickly, and the ugly, indecisive part of my mind started to take over.
It went something like this:

I should blog now... but I'm uninspired...
I should blog about how I'm uninspired...
maybe I'll just put clothes on and take a picture....
I hate outfit post....
I am not a fashion blogger....
I really like getting clothes in the mail though....
My blog is about my kids....
they're so cute....
they're growing up too fast....
I want to blog about them....
they're too special to let everyone know about them....
what am I making for dinner? 
what if when they're older they hate that I let the 'World' in on their lives?...
what if when they're older they resent me for the time I spent blogging?....
I'll make tacos for dinner
I wish I could go through my moms old stuff....
I wish I knew what was in her brain back then.....
They'll love my blog....
I need to get less commercial....
But I  need to get more commercial if I want it to grow.....
I need to stop being so personal.....
Where's the oil? I'll defrost the meat now, warm the oil.... Do I have cheese?
I need a set schedule...
I despise schedules, though......
I don't even know what I'm doing.....
I'm out of salsa.
I should be doing laundry....
WHY am I even thinking about this?! ....
why do I even care? 

...then, I walk out of the kitchen.

To make a long story shorter....I left the pot of oil I was warming on my stove burner and forgot all about it. It caught fire. Like huge fire. In the moment of realization that my whole stove was engulfed in flames and my house was filling up with smoke rather quickly, things became crystal clear.

My thoughts were methodical and thorough.

1. Its an oil fire.
2. get the kids out of the house
3. no water on an oil fire
4. smother the fire.
5. get the smoking, flaming pot out of the house.

In the disastrous kitchen scene I walked into, I somehow knew where everything was exactly when I needed it. Those pot holders I can never, ever seem to find were on both my hands before I knew it, and my huge crock pot lid was over the flames. Remi had spilled water on the floor earlier that morning and I had left the damp clothe on floor right by the stove all day. I picked the damp clothe up and put it over the lid and still flaming/smoking pot and walked right out my unlocked sliding back door that is ordinarily secured by a metal peg in a tiny hole from the bottom right corner---miraculously that metal peg wasn't in place.

it was done.
disaster averted. 

I'm not trying to make this seem like it was a near death experience or anything crazy...but it was somewhat of an eye opener for me. My children never came into the "danger zone" and were perfectly obedient, un-frightened, and patiently waiting for me to get them when everything was over.  The door being unlocked..? Having a wet clothe ready and waiting at the floor of the stove for me? Not panicking at all and knowing exactly what to do and where to go....I can't deny that there were tiny miracles that happened in that instance. 

And about my blog-
Just as my thoughts about how to deal with the fire became clear and precise, so did my thoughts about this space.

I want this space to be a place where women (and men, too) come to relate, to laugh, to learn, to see the beauty in every day life and the beauty that is in themselves...I want my children and family to cherish this blog in the next 40 years, and hopefully show their grandkids what their old, crazy Grandma Weslie was like. I want to share everything I love with everyone whether it be people, experiences, other bloggers, stories, products, intriguing facts--whatever! If I love it, I want you to know about it.

 I can only be me, and that's what you'll get here....all of me. 

A hotel with a revolving door.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

That's what my house has become.

...And please don't get me wrong. That is how I want it.
I want friends and family staying with us all the time---I'll go to the wharf until I'm blue in the face and see the Golden Gate Bridge until the day that I finally stop asking why its not actually gold.

 I LOVE having people over, I really do. 
....but maybe not for 7 weeks straight.

I did the math and realized we have had visitors at least once a week from anywhere from 2 to 6 days, with a 3 or so day gap in between, for the last 42 days straight. 

Sheesh, universe...chill out! Spread those peeps apart next time, k?

I don't remember what a schedule is. 
I don't remember the last time I ate anything green or from the ground.
 I don't remember what day or time it is.
I guess I don't remember how to spell Barnes&Noble (ha) 
....and I don't remember paying any bills.

effffffff word.

So, hi. 
I'm officially back. 

Anyone want to cleanse with me??


Oh! ...and we have a new room mate! My brother-in-law Landon moved from Utah into our house after filming this:

Rapt Studio / Spring Party 2013
from Rapt Studio on Vimeo.

The event at Rapt was unlike any other party I've ever been to. The space alone is incredible, and I am so envious Bronson gets to spend his work days there. I ate oysters until I lost count and had the greatest time imaginable, but I'm guessing they were impressed with Landon's work, because the next week he was an official resident of SF---and the best part, our new live-in babysitter. 

I'm feelin lucky...

Sunday, March 24, 2013

...because within the last 4 weeks I have found 3 different items that make my life oh-so-wonderfully better.

Item ONE:

I found mine at Nordstrom's BP, and they are, hands down, my favorite pair of black skinnies.....ever. 
[They're the black pants I'm wearing in most of my Outtakes Post.]

They are thick, yet soft.
Stretchy, yet don't lose their shape.
And constructed in a way to pull you in exactly where you want to be 'pulled in.'

I want to say they are the first real 'jegging' I've found that are actually the perfect marriage of jeans+leggings.
....and at $48?

Item TWO:

I was moseying through Target one night when these babies caught my eye.

I have this horrible predicament of hating the "claw" know what I'm talking about...
These guys right here:

 -but needing them all while HATING them.

I have fine, straight, silky textured hair.... pony tail holders slip out of my hair  too easily, while flattening any extra volume I can miraculously create, so for the past 10 years, the 'claw' has been my go-to hair device.
But, claws are:
break easily
and nicknamed a "penis pincher"

For the last reason alone, I needed to find a replacement.

One twisty pin is equivalent to 20 bobby pins and they work by twisting into your styled up hair like a cork screw. They hold everything together while giving you lift, plus they are invisible AND comfortable.


The Ebb and Flow Crop ||

  I bought these work out pants over a month ago, and I have worn them every day since. 

They have replaced my comfy sweats even, and I have slept in them multiple times, too. The best part is that they make your booty look awesome. They're like magical optical illusion pants and if LuluLemon ever discontinues them-I just might die...or cry.

To find 3 awesome life altering items within one month is crazy, right?....I must be doing something to please the Gods.

This stuff never happens to me.

#glamGRAND Giveaway! yes, as in 1k...

Friday, March 22, 2013

I've collaborated with a group of fabulous bloggers to bring you something special today. One very lucky reader will have the chance to live glam with a grand - you'll win a $1,000 Visa Gift Card!

To enter, simply use the Rafflecopter below. Points will be earned for each item completed - the more you do, the closer you'll be to winning this amazing prize! The $1,000 Glam Grand Giveaway will run until midnight Friday 29th March 2013 and is open to participants worldwide. After this, the winner will be announced and contacted via email. 

So, now all you have to do is enter, go meet these other fantastic bloggers and start thinking about how you'd spend a grand. I'd love to know your ideas, share them in the comments and let's start dreaming of how to live glam!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Terms & Conditions:
The Glam Grand Giveaway is for one USD $1,000 Visa Gift Card. This giveaway is open worldwide to people aged 18 years and over. It will run from Friday 22nd March 2013 to Friday 29th March 2013. Entries will be verified, so please be honest in completing items. Once the giveaway closes, the winner will be announced on this Rafflecopter and also contacted via email. To claim your prize, please respond to the email within 72 hours, failure to do so will result in a re-draw. Once the winner has been selected, this decision is final and no further correspondence will be entered into regarding this matter. This giveaway is in no way affiliated with Visa or any other social media platform. Good luck!

ouchy...and a big Thank You

Monday, March 18, 2013

First off, let me tell you I've been up since 4:30 am thinking I was dying.

For a couple weeks now, I've had this sensation of something stuck in my throat, right behind my breast bone---Its so weird. I would always be more aware of it at night, and it started to occur to me that the sensation was getting worse with each passing day.

Within the last few days, the feeling has expanded into this horrible tightening of the chest/feeling like I can't get a whole breathe in.

I'm good at ignoring my illnesses/ailments and not saying anything to anyone while I'm suffering, until its unbearable....and last night it became unbearable.

So around 5:15am, onto to the horrible world wide web I went.

First I thought I had a tumor, then cancer, then heart disease, then a thyroid disease, maybe even the early signs of a heart attack, to now----a phone call from my lovely friend, Kelsey, has lead me to believe I have really bad case of acid reflux.

Hallelujah!...because I am no longer writing out love notes to my family.

But why is this even relevant enough to blog about??

Because oddly enough during my horrifying hours on google this morning (really, google is a horrible place to go when thinking you're sick-stick with phone calls), I kept thinking of my readers.

In the last few weeks (especially) I have gotten such amazing Emails. A lot of the current mail relates to MY RULE OF 3's post, but they are all the type of E mails that stop me in my tracks and give me tingles to my toes. I often feel like the people who write in to me are much greater writers, mothers, and young women than I ever was or am....and they are, in fact, giving me much more than they think I am giving them.

I'm just so grateful for you! Really, I am. It may sound corny, but its the truth- and its time I say it out loud. So, thank you--thanks for making me feel like I have a million and more best friends ranging from every age, and in all corners of the country. Its something I know is special, and I want you all to know I don't take it for granted., if only we could all figure out a way to go to lunch together one day...


Thursday, March 14, 2013

Have you guys been over to Brickyard Buffalo to see all my picks [and much more] yet??

 Being their Guest Editor this month has been such an awesome and fun experience for me...The girls running things over at BB are pretty incredible, to say the least, and I'm feeling a little sad my stint as editor its coming to an end.

Weslie Week is not quite over yet...There are 2 days left, so hurry over to BRICKYARD BUFFALO before more items sell out! 

...and remember, enter 'WESLIE' in the promo code to receive 10% off.


Monday, March 11, 2013

The outtakes of family photos always seem to be more entertaining than the 'chosen one.'

Brickyard Buffalo Guest Editor

When Brickyard Buffalo contacted me about becoming their March Guest Editor I was kinda excited.

...Like jumping up and down, and squealing out loud type of excited.

And why would I be this overly dramatic type of ecstatic?

Because, Brickyard Buffalo is my favorite online shop.

 I took it as a huge compliment that the lovely ladies running things over there thought of me to be their March Guest Editor.

They carry very unique, edgy, modern, and AFFORDABLE items that are mostly handmade. Brickyard Buffalo scourers the market for the hottest vendors and items out, then puts them all in one nice, easy spot to look through. In short, they have done the 'work' part of shopping for you, and given you a steal of deal to top it off.

I have picked my favorite items for this month and those items will be showcased starting today!

...If you enter the promo code 'WESLIE' you will receive 10% off anything you chose to purchase for this week. 

 Wanna little preview of my picks??  

 Adam Rabbit
rock ring, crystal necklace, and earrings

 Style Lately
Galaxy Leggings

 Little Hip Squeak

 Little Four


Mystic scarf

Earth Cadets 
Pillow Sham-I got mine in an awesome Peachy/coral color

Tangled Tantrum Detangler and Styling Creme
With this, I have discovered my very own 'fight with my daughter less' potion.
Brons and I, both, have been putting it in our hair, too. We love it. 
Katie Wohl
 I phone cases

Hurry over to Brickyard Buffalo to check everything out! 

My rule of 3's.

Friday, March 8, 2013

I have this theory in life...

If something out of the ordinary comes up more than once in a short amount of time---take it as sign.

For example: I randomly heard of Benefits They're Real Mascara one day and thought, "hmm". That's all.  The very next day I was scrolling through insta and saw an old friend post a photo of her eyelashes saying she just bought the same mascara. Double 'hmm'--one or two more days after that, a reader wrote in telling me they thought I would like it.

Wow, Universe. I get the hint. For whatever reason, I need that mascara.

I bought it and love it, by the way....its actually my favorite mascara I've ever owned.

To me, this rule of 3's theory I have comes about in all ways. Thinking of someone out of the blue, seeing an old item and remembering past times...basically,  if something or someone presents itself to you in 3 different ways---you're meant to act on it. Call that person, send someone  flowers, check in with people from your past, go through old journals, etc.

So, Ive had this nagging thought this past week. Its like a pest thought, actually. I would be right about to fall asleep and would have a flash back to the first 16 months of Zuri's life and remember how difficult of a time it was for me. Then I would be washing the dishes and have the same thought out of no where. Finally, today the thought that came to me was I need to write about this time in my life...and my second thought was, I don't want to.

I don't want to because it seems so long ago A, and B, its something that I don't think women are proud to talk about. I think its something most mothers, especially new mothers feel, but don't dare to speak of..But I have this damn rule of 3's theory--So, I have to talk about it.

Here I go...

Zuri was an unplanned pregnancy. A very, very unplanned pregnancy. We were young and poor, and wild, and not ready for kids or to settle down, but this type of story has been told a million different times by a million different people, so you know how it goes.

The only thing that is different with us is that we knew we already wanted to get married, just not at 19 and 20 years old.  And no, you cynics out there, I won't accept that saying, "You're don't know what love don't know who you want spend the rest of your life with as a teenager." I believe that a heart is a heart, and young or old, it knows when its in love. So, yes, we knew we wanted to be together forever--lets get married!

The part I want to talk about is the where after our first born child comes into the world. The difficult and wonderful part all at once.

It's the part where you feel you are no longer you. You are now someones parent and for the rest of your life your world is different.

And this is where its hard....becoming no longer you for a weird period of time is, well, weird. I think this didn't happen to me just because I was young, or my pregnancy was unplanned-although those 2 things made it a more difficult, I think every woman in every type of situation, and at every age, experiences this emotion after having a baby.

I feel like its a feeling of resentment that is not talked about. Its socially not accepted to express feelings of resentment towards your innocent, beautiful new baby that you love more than your own life. It doesn't makes sense to love something so much that you devote your life to it, and then you're angry because of it.

Are mothers gasping aloud at me saying this?? I think I can actually already feel the judgement.....

But that's how I felt for 16 months. I was angry. I loved my baby,  I just didn't love my life as much anymore. It wasn't my role as a new mama making me unhappy--it was more like the disappointment I felt in myself.  My whole adolescence had consisted of the thought that I would become an adult, have babies, and be the best mom in the world, so, that's what I did. I had babies and was [and still am] the best mom I could ever be to my little girls.....But I didn't expect not to like it in the beginning.

Did I dare say a word of this to anyone? Nope. Not to my husband, not to my mom, not to my closest friends. I was too ashamed to admit that I was having a hard time, because it caught me so off guard. How could I not like it?! It was all I ever wanted, and there I was with a perfect baby who was wonderful and I wasn't fulfilled being just her mom? I hated myself for this...I thought something was so wrong with me for feeling this way--surely no one else ever feels this way because no one talks about it.

 So there I was.... I didn't know who I was as a mom and as an individual. I couldn't marry the two.  I thought I had to change myself into a woman who loved scrap booking parties, and bake sales to become a real mom.....and that's just not me.

If that's not me, am I still a good mom?

Am I good wife?

Can mom's still say the "F" word?
[ turns out they can...and do.]

I feel like a lot of these thoughts and feelings were maybe a symptom of postpartum depression, but not all of them. These are normal feelings that have to get worked out...Its just a part of becoming someone's mother.

So after 16 months,  I finally did figure it out. I was myself and a mom all at the same time, and life became happier and more enjoyable for me. I finally created who I was as little ZuZu babes mom and as me, Weslie, again.

So, why am I rambling on and on about all this? Because I wish this part of motherhood was more openly talked about.  You hear about the sleepless nights, and wanting to pull your hair out, and the extra laundry, the weird issues you have with your new hear about alll of that....that's the easy part, but no one really talks to you about the inner struggle that has nothing to do with your new baby, but with your new role, and more importantly, how you're reacting to it.

I feel like no one needs to be ashamed of those feeling like I was for so long. I want to tell people its normal....Almost to expect it, and I want people to know I am grateful for that period of time in my life now.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy its over, but also happy to have gone through it.

Alcatraz, La Taqueria, and a Disney sweatshirt.

Monday, March 4, 2013

When the fam-dam was in town we went to Alcatraz with the Sistrunk's.

Alcatraz is pretty cool, but after Alcatraz we headed down to the Mission where we ate the best tacos I've ever eaten. 

Tacos trumped Alcatraz, but food usually is the best part of my day everyday, so I wasn't surprised. 
Its called La Taqueria, and it's a must when in the city.

On our way back to the car after eating the worlds best tacos, Landon 
[who is up for hire in the Utah area, I should add. Contact: 801-319-0940. ] took these photos of me.

I like them. 

skirt: Target 
vest: Vans
sweatshirt: Disney

LOVE CHUGS All rights reserved © Blog Milk - Powered by Blogger